A humorous look at two morons who attacked C.I. last week

We've reviewed e-mails at length and have written (Ava, Jim, Ty, Dona and Jess with help from Betty and Rebecca) up this example of the blog event that all our readers are e-mailing about. We're going with humor and note the editorial this issue for the non-humorous take.

In December:

T.I.,
Heh, heh, liked what you wrote. You should pant-pant get a counter. That's how you get taken seriously. No one will link to you without one and man it's real important like if you want the media to follow you. I am able to see people's underwear with mine!
[. . .]
Paul

Paul --
Are you kidding me with this?
[. . .]
-- t.i.

TI,
No, for real. Like this girl with panties that said Wednesday on them was visiting my site on a Saturday. Weird! Yeah, you should pant, pant, tell your readers about them.
Paul

Topical Issues (blog)
Okay, so here's the deal. We don't have a counter at this site. Not one I've put up. I'm sure Google has something but I have no access to whatever it tracks. If you're a closet Judy Garland fan, I won't know you've gone over the rainbow unless you tell me that in an e-mail. But I've been advised that one person with a counter was able to see the underwear that a visitor was wearing when she viewed his site. I have no idea, I'm not a computer expert. Check into it yourself.


sample e-mails in reply to post:

TI,
Hey, great post! Loved it! And I've realized maybe I had no right to look at some chick's panties so I've posted something up at my site to let people know that I have counters.
Paul

#1 Who the fuck is that blogger claiming to see underwear? I bet he's lying but I sure as hell won't be going to his site!
#2 He saw someone's underwear?
#3 Was that guy for real?


April
TI,
Could you please link to Dopey's site Pouty Mouth? He's really a good guy and a great friend and we work on a lot of important issues together?
Paul

TI,
There's still no link to Dopey's Potty Mouth. Are you against him or something? Seems like the whole world is. Look, he's a great guy! Link to him!
Paul

Paul --
I've advised the panel that you're vouching for him. I don't make the decision on blog links anymore. For the last two months, that's been something the panel's decided on. I did pass on your feelings.
-- t.i.

TI,
Hiya, I'm so busy and so loving it. I got a write up! For my new site! Things are changing and I'm going to be making money at last! I can feel it! Look I've got a new site, can you link to it?
I know how your readers feel about counters. I've got no counter at the site. I'll never have one. And it's about an issue your people care about, clean panties! So can you please link to it?
Adam's linking to it and he's getting me lots of hits. You know you're nothing without hits! I could be on CNN's blog show! I know I'll get a mention! By the way, thanks for linking to Dopey's site!
Paul

TI,
I sent you something on this already and an e-mail I sent to everyone. Could you please link to Clean These Panties! that's the new site. We're really proud of it. And your people don't need to worry because there's no counter or nothing. I won't be able to see anyone's panties. I don't know why Tribeca wrote that thing about my counters? Do you? I've always been nice to her and she has to write that thing about me seeing panties. I know, she didn't name me, but that was like totally uncool and totally against what the blog world is about.
Paul

TI,
Have you seen Paul's blog today? He's got a link to a site that's working on the clean panties issue. It's called Clean These Panties! If you link to Paul today, I think this would be a good link.
Marco

Topical Issues (blog):
Marco e-mails to highlight [. . .]
[The Clean These Panties! post.]

Sample e-mails from Topical Issues readers:

#1 Did you know that Paul's sending people to Dopey's site. Potty Mouth has counters and it's Paul's friend. I'm sure he can't see my panties because Paul is a liar but I don't care to be sent to sites like that.
#2 I click on Clean These Panties! and to take action, I have to go to Dopey's site and enter my e-mail address, name, etc. Isn't Dopey a friend of Paul's? I don't trust either. I'd appreciate it if you'd not link to a take action from Paul, Dopey or any of their supposed panty peaking pals. Thanks.
#3 I'd love to help with Clean These Panties! but I'm not entering any information at Dopey's site.
#4 We did our round-robin a day early due to the fact that we went to Clean These Panties! and discovered to do anything via that site, you had to go to Dopey's. We're advising people of how to take action. We like Paul but we don't visit his site because of his claim (true or not) that he can see someone's panties. I really think it was a mistake to link to that site.

Topical Issues (blog):
Apology to the community
I'm getting a lot of e-mails from members about sending you to a site.
Here's the entry we're talking about:
Marco e-mails to highlight Paul's Iraq's in My Title But I Really Don't Talk About That But Check Out The Play I Wrote With That Title:
Me and someone you've never heard of are really concerned that some people aren't provided access to clean panties. We've created a new site Clean These Panties! and you can take action if you hot foot over there. Dopey of Potty Mouth is helping us with this. People, we need clean panties!

Apparently, when you go to Clean These Panties!, you're asked to go to another site which has counters that have you concerned. My apologies for that.
Today, you had the opportunity to give up the right to not having your panties peaked at and that's what you did. Presented with having them peaked at or using Clean These Panties!, you chose to do nothing.
My apologies.

Corrected Post:
[. . .]
Apparently, when you got Clean These Panties!, you're asked to go to another site which has counters that have you concerned. My apologies for that.
Today you had the opportunity to give up the right to not having your panties peaked at and that's what you did. Presented with having them peaked at or using Clean These Panties!, you elected to excercise your power of "no."
My apologies.
[Note: This post has been corrected per Shirley.]

TI,
That was so uncool! And your readers have been bombarding me with e-mails all day! I can't believe they chose to do nothing.
Paul

Paul --
That post has been corrected, per Shirley, to read "excercise the power of 'no.'" I've had a long day, I don't feel good, I mispoke and it's been corrected.
-- T.I.

TI,
Well you may have corrected the post but I still can't believe that attitude! I'm going to write something about counters! This whole thing has gotten out of control.
Paul

TI,
Look everyone uses counters! Google uses counters! Corporations use counters! I'm not to be trusted but some corporation is! Let me now go on for 7K about what corporations do that I don't and what I do that corporations don't. For instance, I pee standing up most days and corporations don't do that [. . .]
Dopey of Potty Mouth

Dopey --
I'm tired and I'm having trouble following your e-mail. I've been at the hospital all day and I don't work at one. I've been poked and prodded all day. I'm heavily drugged right now. If you have something to say to members, let me know.
-- t.i.

TI,
Oh, I hope you get better. I just know that everyone uses counters. Corporations use counters. Google uses counters. [. . .] Hope you get better.
-- Dopey of Potty Mouth

TI,
Well, you should go on to sleep. I've been busy myself. I'm working on this major story that will blow my major story on how Associated Press and this rip-off company used the same font! I've found out this time that they both also use the same punctuation! This is big! By the way, I wrote something at my blog that might upset some of your readers. I think I'll call this a "heads up" heh-heh. Laughing cause a heads up comes before you do something LMAOTFR!
Paul

Sample e-mail to Topical Issues:

#1 Have you seen this from Paul's site:
As John Lennon once rapped, "How Do You Sleep?" Now I'm sure there are some good people over at TI but they're fucking stupid and they're fucking cowards and they're all worried about counters for no reason. It's like someone claimed to see their panties or something! Where would they get that idea! They need to chill! And they did nothing on my Clean These Panties!
How could they be so stupid! I've spent my whole week working on Clean These Panties! and when I say it's an issue and something needs to be done than goddamn it people better do what I fucking tell them! Tell me, TI readers, HOW DO YOU SLEEP!
I believe we all just got trashed. And it's curious that Paul doesn't mention that he claims to have seen someone' s panties. Unless I'm mistaken, Tribeca was quoted in the round-robin saying Paul was the one claiming that. We all knew it was him back in December from the blind item but once Tribeca told us, we had even more reason not to visit his site. I don't know if he can see panties or not but I'm not going to his fucked up site or one of his pals' site.

TI
On the recent attack, Pat of Pat's Partition e-mailed to note Tori Amos' "I guess in times like these/ You find out who your friends are." I would agree.

2 Weeks later
Fourth Altered Reality (blog):
We're doing the round up and let's turn to Tribeca.
Tribeca: I just think the attack on the TI readers was offensive. I have a lot to say on this subject.
TI: I'm going to jump in here. I was speaking to a friend on the phone today and she was saying we didn't need to take the high road. She felt that the community should have been defended from the attack. It's obvious that we're talking about Paul of Why Do I Mention Iraq In My Title Except to Push My Play? and I want to say that Paul was working on an issue he was very passionate about, he was tired and hopefully at another time he would have worded it differently. Hopefully in time, we'll be able to look back on this and see it as a shrug.

TI,
That was so uncool and such a betrayal! You didn't mention that I had apologized! And you named me! That is just wrong! That is fucking wrong! You better tell people that I apologized!
I trashed all of your readers! That you remember! Trashed them at my site! Threw my temper tantrum! And all you can say is I was tired? All you can say is that I was passionate about the issue? I'm not going to put up with this shit!
Attack/Defense as Dopey says!
Paul

Paul --
I've been quiet on this issue for two weeks. I didn't bring it up. When it came up, I commented. The friend I quoted represented the opinions of most members, the "hope" was that we could move beyond it. If you're upset that you were mentioned, blame me. I'm the one who made that decision, I argued it and then to make sure that you didn't come off as the big evil, I argued for the link to you.
-- T.I.

T.I.,
That fucking sucks! You better tell your blog that counters don't look at panties! And you better tell them to install some firewalls! And you better say that I apologized to you! And you better [. . .] You're fucked and you're a fucking [. . .] You'll do what I say! Everyond has to do what I say! Ask Atrios, I put that little bitch in his place! I did the same with Kos! They both came crawling back to me. I am the supreme ruler of the universe! Nothing happens without my say so! The world trembles at my mighty mouth! I'm not Potty Mouth! I have readers! 12! Dopey only gets 2 hits a week on a good week at Potty Mouth! I will destroy you!
Paul

Paul --
Don't write me anymore.
-- t.i.

T.I.,
You're a hysterical! And here's another thing, you are spreading wrong information! Me and Dopey were called domestic abusers! When you quoted that woman who said people had a right to not want their panties stared at, she works at a domestic abuse center! Real cute, real fucking cute, TI, calling me and Dopey abusers! Saying we beat up on women!
You better write that I have never beat up on a woman! Dopey too!
You better fucking write what I tell you to! I will flame off on you! I can drop my whole series on how Garfield is ripping off Peanuts and come after you! Don't think I won't do that!
Paul

TI,
I'm not fucking kidding! I'm not taking this shit! I took the high road and never said anything about any of you! And then you go and trash me with 4th Altered Reality! You're a fucking hypocrite! The Times would print whatever I fucking told them so you're just a fucked up idiot!
I'm so fucking sick of you and I'll now go into five or six paragraphs about how fucking stupid you are and what you better write but I won't say quote me because I don't want it to come out of my mouth you have to make your readers think you are saying it and you fucking better!
Because no one trusts me anyomre because I've gone off on every blogger there is. And now it's your turn motherfucker! So you just get ready for these crimes I'm charging your fucked up ass with! First, you only mentioned my blog five times last week. Hey, fucked up idiot, there are seven days in a week! Seven! Five mentions with seven days? That is so uncool. Atrios thought he could get away with that shit! Now he writes me back when I e-mail him. I'm that important! Crime two, on Tuesday of last week, you said that I wrote a "strong entry." Strong?
Are you trying to say I smell! That is so fucked up, TI, and you don't fucking know who you're dealing with! Which reminds me of three weeks ago, crime three, when my blog was only noted four times that week. Hey, check your fucking calander, dumb ass, there are seven days in every week. I won't be ignored! And I love how you ignored Dopey's break through piece, crime four!, blowing the lid off the tragedy of bubblegum on people's shoes! Do you know how fucking hard that is to get off a shoe? I guess not. I guess you're just too busy forcusing on Nepal! What should I do? Ignore bubblegum and write about Poland? Fuck that shit, you are so fucked up. Crime five, [. . .]
Paul

Paul --
I'm typing an entry now. Telling what went down. So let me know what you want in it. Did you see someone's panties or not?
-- t.i.

TI,
Whatever. I don't even care anymore. Fucking write whatever you fucking want you're a fucking asshole. Go fuck yourself! But you better tell people I fucking apologized! And me & Dopey know that Tribecca went to his site and wrote nasty things about him! It was Tribeca and we know it! You are fucked, you are toast! How dare you try to write about the crimes I have said you are guilty of! Who the hell do you think you are? Me, I'll be the only one left with integrity. Fuck the hell off! Me & Dopey will destroy you! We both hate you!
Peace,
Paul

Paul --
Tribeca's never been to Potty Mouth. She doesn't go online to research. She does calls and she reads magazines. She's not a computer expert. If someone wrote something, it wasn't Tribecca.
Did you see someone's panties or not? I've spent two weeks trying to take the high road and eating your shit on this. You said there would be no counters at Clean These Panties! You said it would be a safe site for the readers. You knew their concerns about privacy. So let's get that out in the open.
-- t.i.

[Editor's note: Paul is never heard from again. For whatever reason, being forced to go on the record about what he saw sends Paul running.]

Tuesday

Dopey --
Do you have any problem with me? Tribeca's didn't visit your site.
-- TI



TI,
Have you seen this at Potty Mouth? I just went there and saw that Dopey had written this:
Since a TI reader, didn't say they were a reader but I know every damn thing, wants to knock boots with me, will make sure I get the big O first like I always do! TI is a liar! TI refuses to tell readers what counters do!
Are you going to address this?
Houston

Houtson --
I hadn't seen that. I'm working on a thing on Paul right now. I'll e-mail Dopey and I'm thinking he doesn't know what went down. I'll give him a chance to respond if he wants to. If he wants to respond, we'll quote him and ignore what he blogged. I really don't think he knows that someone claims to have seen panties.
-- t.i.

TI --
I have emailed you on this situation. You replied once and I e-mailed back "GEt Well!" but did you reply to that? No, you didn't. I emailed get well and other things. You did not reply to my second email. I may not get over 800 emails a day, but I reply to every email and I replied to both emails I got this week including the one about Charles Taylor out of Nigeria and how I might be able to get some money if I turn over my bank account information. I always reply to my emails. Just because you said you were tired and throwing up and couldn't follw my emails is no reason not to write back! So when I didn't hear from you, I figured you were too sick so I decided to do the ehtical thing and call you a liar on my blogg. I feel that's fair. I never accused you of being a liar in any email I wrote you. I know I only went on and on about corporations in both ones and of course that was blogged on at your blogg many times over but I don't care about what's up before I want you to repeat it all again coz there are lots of slow readers like me. And since I knew you were sick and you said you were having trouble following my emails, I felt the ehtical thing was to go on my blogg and trash you. I'm sure you understand. You can find my entries trashing you at:
http://www.pottymouth/i
and
http://www.pottymouth/i
The second post was prompted by a comment I preceived to be from Tribeca. But in the comment, she uses the phrase "high road" and as we all know, no one in the world ever uses that term but Tribeca. She also mentioned her blog by name. So if it wasn't her, it was somebody doing a great impression of her. By that I mean, they knew the name of her blog and they were using "high road" and she cointed that term, write? No one's ever used "high road" in the entire world but Tribeca. And if she uses it and someone knows her blogg, it must be her writing, write?
As you can thell from mypostyes I have a big problem with your apology and how I don't think it's fair that no one every heard my response so paste my blogg repsonses at your site because while it's already at mine, no one will ever read it because no one reads my site. I do not appreciate the preceived evil about counters.
I will now go and repeat my rant about how corporations, multi-billon copropation tracks and stuff and it turns out that was blogged on at your blogg long before I ever even knew but I'm slow and stupid too. Since I am slow and stupid and you didn't drop everything to write me and beg me for a comment to post on your blogg I do feel the only etical thing for me to do was to blogg about this on my site.
Dopey

Dopey --
I'm about to e-mail you a question and I need a reply quickly.
-- t.i.

Dopey --
If you have something to say to the community, you need to note that by saying, "This is for the readers" and indicating where your comment ends. There's another e-mail to follow.
t.i.

Dopey --
I'm working on a post on the whole thing. I don't think you have all the information you think you have. Ask Paul why the readers are bothered by counters.
[. . .]
I want to get this up and go to bed. If you have something to say, I can wait thirty minutes.
-- t.i.

[TI,]
I apologize that I hadn't replied yet, I didn't check my email for about 45 minutes. At this point, I don't want to keep you up all night, especially if your sick, so I'm going to write what I want posted as my comments tomorrow.
[Dopey]

Houston --
I'm not addressing Dopey's blogged comments. I don't think he knows what Paul's claimed all along to see. Tribeca says I'm an idiot and that Dopey will burn me on this but I really don't think he will because he's been nice in his e-mails. I think he was just frustrated and didn't know why people were bothered by Paul's counters. All Paul has to do is get honest. Whether he will or not, I don't know. But Dopey's not Paul and I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. He says he will comment tomorrow so we'll post whatever he sends in to be quoted and we'll ignore the posts from his blog because I don't think he knew why people were offended by Paul or the counter issue. Yes, he blasted us at his site but he's been very nice in e-mails and I don't want to get into a back and forth. I'm tired and this isn't helping. So hopefully tomorrow, we can post Dopey's comments and move on to real issues. Tribeca says I'm an idiot but I've seen no reason tonight not to think that Dopey is sincere.
-- t.i.
P.S. Here's what I posted:

So let's talk about what went down since some want to rewrite. I linked to a site that sent you to another site. I had no idea you would be rerouted and Paul sent an e-mail assuring that it was a safe site for you. Paul doesn't want to talk about that.
Paul does want to tell me what I should say. Paul doesn't want to be quoted, he just wants to bully me into saying something. Paul needs to get honest. Get honest, Paul.
[. . .]

T.I.,
Have you seen Dopey's site? He's mocking your illness and he's slamming you:
Well last night TI bombarded me with e-mails! Over and over. I said, "Just post what I blogged!" I have no idea why TI bothered me about any of this. As my readers know, I have never done anything but tell the truth. Like when I wrote that TI refused to post my comments to TI readers. It's not like I nver said "This is for your readers, quot eme here." If I'd done that I would be the liar. I don't know why TI thinks it's okay to send me all those e-mails.
And I'm tired. I work 7pm to 7am and I have hypoglaucoma and I'm really, really tired. And I can't even think right now. Oh, I'm so pathetich.
I think Tribeca was right about not trusting him. And what pisses me off even more is that the post appears to be mocking your illness.
Houston