Sunday, January 29, 2006

The real State of the Union Address

Bully Boy: My fellow Americans, I got to tell you it looks great from here. In 2003, I got away with outing a CIA agent and it looks like in 2006, I'll get away with spying on innocent Americans without a warrant. National security! National security! National security!

I've placed one MAN on the Court and, fingers crossed and the good Lord Bill Frist willing, I'll have another MAN on the Court shortly.

Nothing's topped the high of lying the nation into war but I've got my eye on Iran so don't you worry.

I gotta tell you that going through life being called "Junior" and trying to live down my past as a cheerleader toughened me up to meet the challenges of today. They gave me the will and fortitude to prove my manhood.

Unlike my daddy, I took Saddam out! WOO-HOO!

Iraq is now free, a free market zone. We will STAY THE COURSE until we've done away with subsidies, privatized the oil industry and broken up the union. STAY THE COURSE.
We are dedicating to exporting democracy and other products we have no use for here so I point to my work in Afghanistan and Iraq with pride. Free elections! Bought and paid for with your tax dollars.

Goals. People talk a lot about goals. Here are some of mine.

1) 2006 will be the year that we give Hugo Chavez the Aristide treatment.

2) Having already destroyed the First, Second and Fourth Amendments, I want to expand on that. Those pesky anti-slavery amendments are next on my list and thanks to last year's bankruptcy bill and my guest workers program, endentured servitude will make a strong comeback.

3) Having done such a great job of selling off national parks and forests as well as the Arctic preserve, I could rest on my laurels. But if Hurricane Katrina taught me anything, it's that I can sell off entire urban cities. I'll do what I did with Katrina, nothing. Just sit on my butt, ignore the warnings, and wait for the aging infrastructures to fail. Don't worry, I'll ensure that all well- to- do Whites are transported out before the disaster hits.

4) The Jack Abramoff scandal has touched me. I've realized something I never knew before. Those people have a lot of money! How they'd get that money and who said they could have it? Having broken treaties like Geeneva, I want to think on a grander scale. All laws and treaties not signed by me are now null and void.

Culture of Profit is what I'm all about in 2006.

I ask you to stand with me as I tear America from its historic path and launch it on a new course. With the continued silence from the Democrats and the mainstream media, I think the goals are not only possible, they are inevitable.
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.
 
Poll1 { display:none; }