Sunday, April 16, 2006

When Poodles Snarl

FOR SALE:
Two high strung poodles. Cannot, REPEAT CANNOT, be sold as a set. Both are neutered and prone to barking at non-existant threats. Be advised: The yapping cannot be curtailed. Must be kept well groomed -- high maintenance. Known to attack one another and their own reflections.

"Liberals hate America!" whined Not Quite Anonymous.

"Oh that is just like NQA to conflate liberals in the Democratic Party with America haters!" sniffed What Lisping Media.

"I said 'left-wing'!" screamded NQA.

"The Nation is not a part of the left-wing of the Democratic Party! They supported Ralph Nader! They do not hate America, except for Alexander Cockburn!" responded WLM laughing at his own joke (since no one else will).

Two poodles squaring off. And America's supposed to give a damn?

One came to uber-fame on the back of a book he lied about writing (in the old days, that lie would get you drummed out of the press -- in World 'o Luce, it makes you a columnist). The other never made an argument without attempting to figure out how it polled first.

Two fey pets of the chattering class, hiking up their legs to 'baptize' one another and be sure that they get a little attention. (Pets need attention. If you're not able to devote time to one, you shouldn't take it home.)

One churns out useless thoughts for a useless magazine. The other still can't get away from the hoots and hollers over his lament that some in the press "malign West Side elitist liberals like me."

One barks, the other lisps.

Running on Empty from NYC vs. Full of Beans from Queens!

The chattering class. Can't be informed by them, can't inform them.
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