Sunday, November 26, 2006

Taking care of the most pressing business first



In January, the Democrats will control the House of Representatives. For the first time since 1995. But don't set your hopes too high on any real efforts to address the problems that have plauged the nation over the last five years.

Speaking to Lesley Stahl for the October 20, 2006 edition of 60 Minutes, House Speaker-elect Nancy Pelosi addressed the issue of impeachment: "No, impeachment is off the table." Stahl asked her if that was a pledge and Pelosi responded, "Well, it's a pledge in the -- yes, I mean, it's a pledge. Of course it is. It is a waste of time."

According to Pelosi, gay rights are also a waste of time, or as she responded to the issue of same-sex marriage, "Well, that's an issue that is not an issue that we're fighting about here." Stahl also observed that Pelosi (like many Congressional Democrats -- our comment, not Stahl's) appeared to have backed off from her strong pro-choice stance.

So let's recap, impeachment is off the table, basic rights are off the table, and, with the character assassination (from the left and 'left') of John Murtha (Pelosi's pick for House Majority Leader) "off the table" and War Hawk Steny Hoyer inserted to the post in January, you might want to rethink that whole "Dems will end the war!" excitement.

But fear not, the Dems in the House are rolling up their sleeves to address the really important issues, not petty power plays here, not at all. Jackie Kucinich (The Hill) reports that Henry Waxman has surveyed the scene and is now hard at work . . . ending the policy of smoking in the Speaker's Lobby.

Now smoking isn't mandatory. There's no rule that all who pass through, the relatively few who do, must shove a butt between their lips and light up. But those who wanted to, could. Though few American citizens -- you know, those average Joe and Joans the Dems are supposed to represent -- will ever be in the Speaker's Lobby, Waxman obviously knows it is one of the most pressing issues.

When contacted, Average Joan replied, "My chiefs concerns are probably the war and the cost of health care." Asked about smoking in Speaker's Lobby, Average Joan quickly replied, "Oh that! Yes, yes, by all means that should be the top priority. I know my diabetic child, myself, and indeed the entire country will benefit from addressing that. Thank you, Representative Waxman, suddenly my son's dialysis seems so much more manageable."

Speaking of Bully Boy and Dick Cheney, Pelosi told Stahl, "This election is about them. This is a referendum on them."

And clearly Americans turned out on election day to issue a referendum on smoking in the Speaker's Lobby as well. Next up for Waxman, installing breathalyzers on the House floor to make sure no Congress member has been sneaking nips between votes.

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