Sunday, May 27, 2007

And from the world of music . . .

sd

That Bono. So busy being Bully Boy's best buddy, he's got no time for rock and rolling. But he does want to save the world. It's right up on there on his list, right behind stopping Billy Squier from using his (Squier's) fireplace. (Evan Seprick humps the project in the May 31st issue of Rolling Stone, page 16. Those wanting to sidestep the wet spot can click here for USA Today's months old article on the project.)



So what's Bono up to these days besides petty grudge f*cks, refusing to live in Ireland because he won't pay taxes and packing on more pounds than Sam Kinison near the end?



Well Bono's concerned. He's worldly.



He's seen destruction in the world and he is mad, MAD, MAD!!!! we tell you.



No, not Iraq. Our supposed brave leader will never say one damn word against the illegal war. It might jeopardize that money (that still hasn't come in). See the one who once sang about "Silver and Gold" is now all up in it and he will never speak out against Iraq until his blessed Bully Boy leaves office.



But what he will do is steer a double disc for the "Save Darfur!" cause. "Save Darfur!" How?



Apparently by singing John Lennon songs.



Mr. Ass Hole wants the world's attention because he's about to speak. (Not about Iraq, never about Iraq. Iraqi refugees outnumber refugees in Darfur, Iraqis killed in the illegal war outnumber the killings in Darfur but Bono's all dizzy, like Peggy Lee after a hair relaxer treatment.)



Bono and the nobodies (which is how the other three have allowed themselves to be seen) will record "Instant Karma" and that will apparently keep Our Modern Day Carrie Nations marching for a bit more. Now it doesn't help that the double disc CD has no heat. (It doesn't. One offs from Green Day don't draw a crowd. And the rest have largely seen their best day sometime ago. Jackson, we love you, but put out an album of new songs already. Ben, we've avoided listening to "Beautiful Boy" so we wouldn't have to comment.) But what it really underscores is that one time rocker Bono was grossly overrated.



How so?



He wants to draw attention to Darfur . . . by singing "Instant Karma." The alleged songwriter and one time rocker cares so much . . . that he's doing a cover. Apparently compassion doesn't allow the time required to write your own song. Who knew?



Silly John Lennon and Yoko Ono, wasting time writing "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" during Vietnam. Didn't they know the true way to draw attention to a crisis was an album of cover songs!



Bono crapped out somewhere around the time of Pop and he's never found his way back (even when offering the MOR All That You Can't Leave Behind). Now he wants to "Save Darfur" and knows the best way to do that is by recording an old (a great, but an old) Lennon song. And
Christina Aguilera, in an apparent homage to Barbra Streisand, has re-recorded "Mother" for the same project. (And it sounds, note for note, just like Streisand's cover.) No word on whether Fergie raps about her "lady humps" in the middle of "Power to the People."



Mainly, we think contemporary CD buyers (the few that purchase the pricey project) will mainly just wonder what "Jealous Guy" has to do with anything or marvel over the fact that anyone ever even bothered to speculate about Michael Stipe's sex life (he and the boys perform the very political "# Nine Dream"). The only real winner is Yoko Ono who gets to draw some attention (misguided though it is) to Lennon's worthy catalogue. (Ono's donating all royalties.) CD buyers? Listing for $21.98 and without even a group sing-along like "We Are The World," most will avoid it. Someone pass it on to Larry Cox that he's a lousy spokesperson for Amnesty International USA and making many miss the equally weak (and equally compromised) William Schulz. We look forward to the next "crisis" CD from AIUSA and suggest Where the Boys Are as a Free Tibet event featuring Ricky Martin on the title track, Britney Spears performing "Everybody's Somebody's Fool," Brandy offering up "Who's Sorry Now?" and assorted others working to free Tibet through the songs made famous by Connie Francis.

Avoid it wherever stale offerings are sold.
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