Sunday, January 24, 2010

TV: Doing the John Edwards

Somewhere in the wall-to-wall Haiti 'coverage' last week, we couldn't stop laughing. We'd tried being kind, we'd tried being patient but when Democracy Now! is presenting 'heroic' John Edwards' flight to Haiti -- to avoid having to address his admission that Frances Quinn Hunter was, in fact, his daughter -- we just had to surrender to gales of laughter and remind ourselves that "Tears Are Not Enough."



TV

"Tears Are Not Enough" was one of the many the charity singles for Ethiopia in the mid-eighties. The bandwagon on that started out with the mega-hit (and very pompous) Band-Aid single "Do They Know It's Christmas?" ("We know, do they know?") in 1984. 1985 found "We Are The World" (also pompous) by USA for Africa. Then came "Tears Are Not Enough" from Northern Lights and the Canadian effort was the least well known. Possibly due to the blunt truth in the chorus that "Tears Are Not Enough."

But tears were all you needed to judge by the coverage. Certainly not common sense. Anderson Cooper was crying on camera again and, like many a closeted celebrity gay man, CNN also got a bit of footage of him staging a dramatic rescue.

The horror! Oh the horror!

Listening to the various anchors and reporters intone and shudder, we were back in Woody Allen's Hannah & Her Sisters. Where, commenting on the state of TV, Frederick (Max von Sydow) offers, "Third-rate con men telling the suckers that they speak for Jesus and to please send in money. Money, money. If Jesus came back and saw what's going on in his name he'd throw up. "

Indeed. It works both as a comment on the 'news' coverage and on the telethons -- Hope For Haiti Now and for KPFA which turned over the Bay Area station to raising funds on Wednesday ("136,000 raised in 13 hours by KFPA," Philip Maldari would later inform on Thursday but on Saturday, Kris Welch would claim "140,000" "on that day" was raised). Hope For Haiti Now? After two hours we wondered if we could get some disaster relief just for watching?

The latest work definitely demanded that Madonna's face be declared a disaster area. Possibly even more puzzling was her decision to perform "Like A Prayer." Why was she dipping into the eighties? Over 20 years later? And why her oral sex song ("when I'm down on my knees")? We had no idea. But we were confused in the first fifteen minutes when Bruce Springsteen decided the song to perform was the Civil Rights Movement anthem "We Shall Overcome." For the record, the Civil Rights Movement? Not really about earthquakes or earthquake relief.

Truth be told, the long, long, overly long 'special' had very few moments that passed for special. We counted only three performances by established (in US markets) artists that were special: Mary J. Blige's "Hard Times Come Again," Sting and the Roots' "Driven To Tears" (the old Police classic) and Jennifer Hudson performing "Let It Be."

The rest all seemed in a heavy race for the title of Most Ridiculous.

Justin Timberlake pretending he's Jeff Buckley and performing "Hallelujah" may seem the natural winner but we think the soon-to-be 33-year-old Chris Martin made a fool out of himself wearing clothes 15-years-too-young for himself and whining on in that faux whisper vocal he resorts to more and more. Of course, there was also the hilarity of non-singers Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock joining Keith Urban to sing (or in the first two's case, 'sing') "Lean On Me." Yes, Haiti, lean on Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock. Don't you feel better already?

We mentioned Chris Martin's ridiculous outfit but we must not forget Anderson Cooper who obviously dressed in a homage to Jacqueline Bisset's pioneering wet t-shirt work in The Deep. Watching Anderson in that too-tight t-shirt, we had to wonder if the real reason Dan Rather was run off from the anchor desk was his refusal to sport nipples?

There was Anderson, live, shoving a microphone into the mouth of a little girl just rescued from beneath rubble. It wasn't news and you could write it off as just the sort of mawkish thing that would happen on a telethon were it not for the fact that it was repeated over and over with different survivors on CNN and other outlets.

There was no respect for the victims of the earth quake. Not on any outlet.

Doubt it? Let's go to NPR's Morning Edition on Thursday. But before we get there, ask yourself what rights the victims have? Do they have the right to the same medical confidentiality as anyone else or not? From the transcript:


JOANNE SILBERNER: In the operating room before the surgery begins, Nurse Roberta Dee tells me Bazile has been a great patient.


Ms. ROBERTA DEE (Nurse): If this were in the United States, man, and we had two broken legs, they would be screaming. They're so grateful to any little thing.


JOANNE SILBERNER: With [Denise] Bazile lying there quietly, Dee shows me the X-rays.


Ms. DEE: Her fractures, as you can see, this - she went to see a local doctor first and they did X-rays. But you can see, look at the bone, these are her legs. See the breaks?


JOANNE SILBERNER: The bones aren't just broken. They're out of alignment. Orthopedic surgeon Christopher Born is going to stabilize Bazile's legs using something called an external fixator. It's done sometimes to stabilize a bad fracture for a few days or weeks until an internal metal rod can be inserted.


That segment above is insulting. Denise Bazile does not give up the right to the privacy of her medical records just because she is a victim. Nor does she need nurse Roberta Dee making insulting remarks (the remarks about 'gratitude' are insulting to Haitians and to Americans). The above was passed off as news but it wasn't news.


A.N.S.W.E.R.



Like Anderson Cooper's telethon moment or Anderson Cooper on CNN 'covering' the story or any of the news outlets 'reporting,' it's not about reality, it's not about news. Like the over-inflated egos of those participating in Hope For Haiti (implying that without the concert there would be no hope?), the whole tragedy is about Look-How-Great-We-Are!

Doubt us?

"Well, I was in Haiti about a year ago and was really touched by both the people here and the plight that they are going through. And when the earthquake hit and I saw these images on television that you and people like you brought back to America, it was just heartbreaking, absolutely heartbreaking. And so, we started organizing, trying to figure out what we could do to help, and there is a group of us who are here, twenty-five to thirty. We've got supplies, medicine, brought doctors with us. So we’re just here to help in whatever way we can."

Who said that?

Trashy John Edwards (here for audio, text and video from Friday's Democracy Now!).

Trashy John Edwards who cheated on his wife (Elizabeth Edwards) while she was suffering from terminal breast cancer and he had a long-term affair (that continued throughout 2008 -- yes, kids, it did) only to show up on Nightline when the press finally paid attention to a story they should have covered in 2007 and Trashy John declared it was a short affair (lie), ended before his wife knew she had terminal cancer (lie), that he didn't know that the child was his (lie), and so much more.

Last week [see Ruth's "Sleazy John," Mike's "Health 'reform' and the happy Edwards couple," and Wally's "THIS JUST IN! THEY REALLY DID DESERVE EACH OTHER!" and Cedric's
"Those lying Edwards!"] John Edwards finally got honest.

Sort of.

You mean he's still not telling the full truth?

Yes, we mean that.

But mainly what we mean is that to get honest, you have to declare something. Now John Edwards is happy to go on TV and talk about Haiti. But when it was time to get honest about his daughter? He released a statement. Regretting his 'errors' and hoping his daughter would forgive him someday. His sincerity was suspect not only by his refusal to face the cameras but also by his need to send out a surrogate.

Elizabeth used surrogates last week as well -- we're not in the mood. John Edwards had multiple affairs. When he wants to get honest and stop acting like 'bad' Rielle Hunter tempted him into straying, we'll believe his sincerity. And Elizabeth? She knew about many of the affairs.

They're not telling the truth, either of them.

But John's headed to Haiti. To try to rebuild his rep. Someone needs to tell him that a reputation is not like silver. Yes, both tarnish but only one can be easily wiped clean.

To one degree or another, all the media's doing the John Edwards. They're certainly not doing reporting. But they are using Haitians as props in their attempts to prove how compassionate they themselves are, how caring, how feeling. "Tears Are Not Enough." No, they aren't. And reporters aren't supposed to make like Sally Struthers in a Save The Children ad.
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