Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Trump murdered Helen Taft Manning

Now it can be told, before he became President of the United States, Donald Trump murdered Helen Taft Manning.


At the time, Donald was longing to be president and to own the Plaza Hotel in NYC.

February 21, 1987, he entered the nursing home and killed Helen Taft Manning.

For decades, it has been thought that the daughter of former President William Taft died of pneumonia.

But the murder was among one of many plots cooked up by Donald and social overlord Lynda Bird Johnson.

With the 1987 pre-party for The International Debutante Ball, Donald and Lynda plotted how they would take over NYC.

Though the daughter of former President Lyndon B. Johnson was successful in urging Donald on his crimes, Lynda's own road to success was ended when she committed the worst crime of all: Crimes against fashion.

At the ball, Lynda showed up in a horrifying black monstrosity that features lace around the neck and shoulders fading into black netting for the arms, with a bulging black top, a huge (waist emphasizing) ribbon followed by a pleated skirt worn over an a-line skirt.

Remembers debutante Lucinda Robb, "It was so appalling, as though she had no idea what she wanted to wear so she asked a seamstress to tack on everything."

After that insurmountable faux pax, Lynda became social pariah and Donald avoided her except for a brief farewell dinner in August of 2981 at Bellini by Cipriani.

Remember aspiring character actress and professional server Trish Van Barnicle, "They made a big show of ordering the lobster salad after rudely cutting me off when I attempted to describe the day's special.  Yet when I brought them the check, they both attempted to ignore it.  They then argued over who had invited whom and who should pay.  All at once, they both attempted to dash and dine, however, Trump tripped Johnson and we managed to catch her as he high tailed it out of the restaurant.  She was then forced to pay."

How true is the above account?

It came to us in our dreams the night after a very satisfying enchilada dinner.

And since making up s**t about Trump is all the rage these days, we didn't want to get left out.

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